Now I’m not normally one to complain, but I’ve got a beef. For the second week in a row, I’ve been lookin for a good flick to go see with the tall lady, you know, something that features some rough and tumble action, but all I see everywhere is that damn Chihuahua movie. Ever since chihuahuas became celebrity purse dogs, I just can’t even look at ‘em anymore.
Insult to injury on this one? Check out the cast. George Lopez, Paul Rodriguez, Luis Guzman and Cheech Marin. Love each and every one of those guys so imagine my pain seeing them shill for the chihuahua. And then there’s Piper Perabo… sigh. Ever since I saw Piper Perabo stompin’ away on the bar in Coyote Ugly, I’ve had a big old crush on her, but no more. I’ve got a movie idea. How about Brooklyn Heights Bulldogs? We’re both rough and tumble and cute and lovable. Plus the chicks dig us. Sure, you can’t carry us around in a purse but we don’t want to be carried. We’ve got way too much game to be someone’s purse dog.
All is not lost though. I don’t see anything coming up starring bulldogs, but I am gonna check out that Max Payne movie when it comes out (assuming the tall lady can sneak me in of course). Cops, zombies, revenge, Mila Kunis… yep that’s just what I need to erase the Chihuahua from my brain.
